A bittersweet week

About loss, letting go, and new opportunities

Jun 16, 2024

This week has been a true rollercoaster, both personally and professionally. While I don't have a specific lesson to share today, I have reflected a lot and hope my experiences resonate with you or encourage you to reflect on your own journey.

A heartfelt loss

This week, I lost my cousin, someone very dear to me, though she lived far away, in Argentina. She was young, in her early 50s, and left behind a 21-year-old daughter. It wasn’t a complete surprise, as she entered the hospital a couple of months ago, but that didn’t lessen the pain. The distance made it even harder, as I couldn't be there to say goodbye or support my family in such difficult moments.

Living far from my extended family and grieving from a distance is something I've grown accustomed to, having spent most of my life away from them. I've only had my parents and brother nearby, with the rest scattered around the globe. I believe that’s why I've always struggled with grief; it takes me a day or two of crying my eyes out to start processing the loss before I can face the world and offer my condolences. When someone close passes away, the immediate need to express condolences makes it harder, and I often feel like my awkward messages make things worse.

I assume that experiencing death and grief from a young age builds temperance in these situations. But maybe I’m wrong. The only significant loss I fully experienced before this was my mum's, and I was already in my 30s. I was a big mess then, but thankfully, my brother handled everything. This week, I realized I feel ill-prepared for such moments, despite knowing that grief has many forms and there is no right way to react.

Letting go

On a much less important note, yet still very sad for me, I've decided to stop organizing the meetups I once joyfully arranged for women in my industry. This group, initially created by someone else, grew over time. When the original organizer became busy, I took over to keep the connection alive among the few women in Barcelona in this male-dominated field.

There was a time when we used to meet monthly, enjoying each other's company and not necessarily discussing work. However, organizing these meetups had become increasingly difficult. This week, after some activity in the group, I arranged a new one, but only two people showed up despite many confirming their attendance. I had repeatedly asked them to let me know if they couldn’t make it. Yet, absolutely no one did.

It might sound trivial, but investing time and energy into creating safe and nurturing spaces only to be met with indifference hurts, especially when:

1) I could have stayed home grieving instead, as it happened on the same day I learned about my cousin's passing;

2) We complain that there are not enough women in the industry nor safe spaces for us, yet we can’t even keep the connection between us.

I understand that plans change and sometimes we agree to something and cannot follow through. It happens to all of us. Yet, I expect some respect for my time and energy. This experience made me finally decide to step back from organizing these events, despite how much I enjoyed bringing people together to support and grow with each other.

New opportunities

On a more positive note, I’m starting to reap the fruits of my labor in my professional life, which has been a source of cheer this week. I secured a new client on a month trial basis. If it goes well, it promises to be a long-term project that will keep me engaged and allow me to learn new topics—something I truly enjoy.

This opportunity came through a contact I made almost a year ago at an industry event. We stayed in touch and got along nicely. Now he has referred me to this project. He’s probably reading this, so: Thank you so much, Lucio! I owe you one :)

Additionally, an old client reached out with news and might want to continue working with me. We left a project halfway a couple of months ago due to some product changes they needed to implement. I adapted to their timings and was happy to wait and get back into it the moment they were ready. Now, it looks like they are, so I’m making myself available despite being busier than before because we had a deal that they honored, and I want to honor my part too.

I had hoped for a quiet summer, but it looks like it will be busier than expected. That’s the solopreneur life in full swing!

Closing thoughts

As you can see, this week has been bittersweet and full of ups and downs, but it has made me reflect a lot:

Sometimes, being a solopreneur means you cannot take a flight to say goodbye to a family member. And that hurts like crazy, but it’s the life I’ve chosen.
Every contact you make can lead to good opportunities at any moment, so make as many as you can and treat them respectfully, no matter what.
Being around people or clients who don’t respect your time and energy is not worth it. Finding those that do will undoubtedly bring you much more well-being in your personal and professional life.

I hope these reflections resonate with you or make you reflect on your own journey.

Let me know in the comments if they do!

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⚡️About Sabrina Bonini

Sabrina Bonini is a content specialist, writer, and educator who thrives as a multi-passionate solopreneur. She’s currently creating content about Web3, new technologies, and Formula 1.

On a personal level, Sabrina writes the weekly publication ✍️ Diary of a Modern Solopreneur, bringing readers along on her solopreneur journey and sharing insights and lessons in hopes of empowering others on the same path.

When she’s not busy typing away, she’s picking up new hobbies, indulging her curiosity, or playing hide-and-seek with her fluffy cat. Discover more about her work and connect with her on LinkedIn.